The Mental Toughness Handbook: A Step-By-Step Guide to Facing Life's Challenges, Managing Negative Emotions, and Overcoming Adversity with Courage and Poise by Damon Zahariades

Author:Damon Zahariades [Zahariades, Damon]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: ArtOfProductivity.com
Published: 2020-04-27T16:00:00+00:00

“EVERYONE will think you’re an idiot.”

“You fail at EVERYTHING.”

“You ALWAYS say the wrong things.”

“NOBODY cares what you think.”

Fourth, it draws a hard line in the sand between success and failure. You either succeed or you fail. There’s no in-between. Worse, your inner critic sets the criteria for success unreasonably high. For example, if you receive a “B” on an exam, you’ve failed. If you prepare a meal that’s slightly less than perfect, you’ve failed. If you give a presentation at work and don’t receive enthusiastic accolades from every attendee, you’ve failed.

Fifth, your inner critic predicts the future with an air of finality. And the future it predicts is usually negative. For example, the girl you intend to ask out on a date will say no, never, or not even if you were the last man on earth. The marketing plan you intend to show a client will be summarily rejected. The side business you’d like to start will fail miserably, and you’ll become a laughing stock amongst your friends in the process.

Your inner critic is almost certainly your most unpleasant, obnoxious, and disrespectful acquaintance. It’s time to quash the negative self-talk.

5 Things You Can Do Today to Silence Your Inner Critic

Following are simple things you can do that’ll help stifle the negative internal dialogue that’s wreaking havoc with your confidence, self-worth, and mental toughness. All of them are easy and take minimal time and effort. I encourage you to try them today.

#1 - Scrutinize negative thoughts the moment they surface.

In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article claiming we have between 12,000 and 50,000 thoughts a day. It went on to claim that 80% of these thoughts are negative. Whether or not these claims are true (and some have expressed skepticism), we do experience a lot of negative thoughts throughout the day. So many, in fact, that we develop a blind spot to them, allowing them to simmer under the surface.

Whenever your inner critic “speaks,” examine its claim. Don’t simply ignore it. And certainly don’t accept what it says at face value. Recognize its claims as destructive to your emotional mastery, psychological readiness, and mental toughness.

#2 - Ask for evidence.

If your inner critic condemns you as a failure, predicts catastrophe, or tries to convince you that you’re ill-equipped for a planned task or project, ask for evidence. It’ll probably trot out things you did unsuccessfully in the past. But remember, we’re always growing and improving. Failure in the past doesn’t limit our success in the future. Given this, such evidence is shaky at best and outright fallacious at worst.

#3 - Come up with a rational response to every overgeneralization your inner critic makes.

Recall from above the ridiculous absolutes your inner critic trades in: ALWAYS, NEVER, NOBODY, EVERYONE, etc. Claims based on these absolutes are almost always gross exaggerations with little merit. One of the best ways to dismiss them is to counter them with a reasonable response.

For example, suppose you want to improve at public speaking. If your inner critic is feeling emboldened, it might claim “you’ll NEVER be able to speak in public.

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